The idea: With Food Network star Guy Fieri and comedian Judy Gold as my guides, find the best spots for Super Bowl-style grub in Manhattan.
The reality: Fire up "When Harry Met Sally" and loop it on the diner scene (yes, the moaning). Now blast a laugh track, then add a profanity-spewing rabbi, enough X-rated commentary to render much of the evening's dialogue unquotable, and such gluttonous portions of high-fat food that by the end at least one of us would be vomiting.
You have a sense of the evening. Which is to say, pairing up with Fieri and Gold was more amusing, but less helpful, than hoped.
With the Super Bowl hitting New York this Sunday, I wanted to know where to go for the over-the-top fare we've come to associate with the big game. So I got a tour from Fieri, who got started on his road to culinary fame with his Johnny Garlic's and Tex Wasabi restaurants in Santa Rosa, and who is known as a master of too-much-is-not-enough eating. He's pimping the new season of his show, "Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off," so he brought along Gold, one of his co-stars.
A little predictably, we started the evening at Guy's American Kitchen and Bar, Fieri's Times Square restaurant made as famous by a scathing New York Times review as by the celebrity himself. This was my first visit and -- true to the hype -- this is not the place to go for great food. It was, however, an excellent place for great grub.
As Fieri regaled us with his Super Bowl party food philosophy -- "You can't just order 10 pizzas! That's a throwaway! That's an insult to the game. You've got to put some time into it." -- the onslaught began.
Something called Mongolian chicken wings bathed in a sticky honey-soy sauce had Gold moaning loudly. "MMMMM! MMMMMM! Oh my God, it's so good! AHRRRRRRR!" And except to occasionally ask waitresses about gynecological procedures (just roll with it), this pretty much became her soundtrack for the evening.